Waiting for the world to change...

I know that blogs are meant for just your everyday musings, but each time I've sat down to blog, I've said to myself, "Why blog now? You'll actually have news in a couple of days!" and I've convinced myself to wait just a couple more days. Well, it's been many couple more days, and nothing has changed. Of course I'm talking about the children, but I'll just give a basic play-by-play of life these past few months.

We flew up here on Wednesday, and on Thursday, I started my new temp-to-hire job at a big law firm, Baxter Bruce & Sullivan. They were bummed that they had to find me through a temp agency because I had every qualification they were wanting in a legal secretary, but at least they had someone who they didn't have to train on the absolute rudimentaries, and I sure felt blessed that after six months of looking for a job and not getting a nibble, and then having to give up the dispatch job (Well, not having to, of course. It was our choice. We could have stayed down there, but if we decided to move, I'd obviously have to give it up.), I was starting a new job on the very first day of being there. We were indeed blessed.

Within just a few days of being here, I pretty much fell in love with Juneau. The town doesn't have too much to it, of course, but neither did Ellensburg, and at least there's a Costco here! And I've had a hard time warming up to the ward here (I miss you, Kathy Anderson!!!!!) But Juneau itself it wonderful. It has a very laid-back atmosphere, with a feeling very similar to Olympia, but not really granola by choice, but rather by necessity. I think my favorite story about this is going to church on my second Sunday there, and there was this cute girl there probably in her mid-20's, hair done all nice and pretty, and she was wearing a very appropriate outfit for someone her age to go to church in. She then stood up to go somewhere, and my eyes popped as I noticed her brown rubber boots. Yes, the ones to the left. Sure, she was cute and the outfit was cute, but the kicker was that she coordinated with her boots!!!! Who does that??? Oh yeah, people in Juneau. People wear these boots EVERYWHERE!!! EVERYWHERE!!! Can I say it any other way? EVERYWHERE!!! And not just old people or frumpy people. Everyone. From the cute girl in church to the 3-year-old walking with mom, to the high schoolers walking to school, to the attorneys at the law firm. Ok, well, they take them off when they get to the office. But when you're walking around Fred Meyer (or Costco - hooray!), you see them on everyone. This is the type of thing that you wouldn't see anyone who wasn't old and frumpy "down south" (that's what everyone calls the continental United States), but they have become a fashion staple. I myself am not quite ready to buy them, but I did buy some cute pink and blue striped rubber boots. Baby steps.

With respect to dealing with "the system" in Alaska, we decided to take a different approach than the one we had previously adopted in Washington, fondly known as "bug the whoever it takes as often as it takes for however long it takes to get done what we need done." We turned over a new leaf (we being Scott. He's the one the social workers are afraid of in Washington), and it really seemed to be working for us! With the footwork Scott had done up here prior to me coming up, we were ready to get licensed almost immediately, and within approximately two weeks, we were done with what we needed done and licensed as foster parents. Yes!

We had decided to take the path of licensing as foster parents rather than adoptive parents because we were under the impression that when we were licensed as foster parents, the kids could come up here. Now came the time to wait for the ICPC paperwork to go through.

For those of you who don't know, the ICPC stands for "Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children," and it's basically an agreement between all the states that allows foster children and children who are going to be adopted to cross state lines. But there's a bunch of paperwork that needs to be done in order for the kids to do it. It all starts with the social worker for the kids. Jody's goal (which she achieved, yea Jody!) was to get the paperwork off her desk and over to Olympia by the time I left for Alaska. Check. The paperwork then needs to be looked over by Olympia and sent to the main office in Alaska, which happens to be Juneau. Then the main office in Juneau needs to send it to the field office of wherever the kids are going (which also happens to be Juneau, but it's a separate office). They then have to meet with us and do a quick (ha!) homestudy, after which time they send it back to the main office, who then sends it back to the main office in Olympia, who then sends it back to the field office in Yakima.

So after about three weeks of waiting and keeping in touch with our social worker, Candice, she hadn't heard about any paperwork arriving at their office for us. We finally got ahold of the Olympia office, and they couldn't find it!! WHAT?!?!! Oops! False alarm, they found it, but it had been sent on to Juneau THREE WEEKS AGO. Double WHAT?!?!?! We found this out on Alaska Day (who knew there was a State Holiday the government celebrates and the entire state shuts down. And not only that, but I just found out about Sewards day, where that happens again! Man, this Alaska thing is getting better and better!), so the next day, Scott found out whose desk it was on and met with her. She said, "Well, I'm super busy with tons of other cases, but what the heck! I'll be over tonight and we'll get this taken care of!" GASP! Tonight! Sweet!

So she came over, did her thing, we had a good talk with her and felt a good connection to her, and she said she'd type it up and have it to her supervisor the next day, who would then quickly send it to Olympia. Oh my goodness! It's all falling into place! The kids will be here soon!!!

A few days later, we haven't heard anything back yet, and we call around and find out that Carol did submit it, but the main Juneau office rejected it and sent it back to the field office (moment of silence, please). Remember how earlier I said that we got licensed as foster parents rather than adoptive parents so that the kids could get up here sooner? Well, apparently that's not good enough for Olympia, and they want us licensed as adoptive parents. It's okay, though, because our foster care worker (Candice) and the ICPC worker (Carol) have an appointment to get together and get it done. We wait a few days and check on the progress, and they haven't been able to get together yet, but it's okay because they have an appointment to get it done. Imagine having his conversation over and over again for three weeks, and that's where we're at now. We talked to Carols' supervisor, and she said that they have until November 29th to have the ICPC paperwork done and returned to Olympia, so she can't really push Carol to go any faster because she's still working within her deadlines.

The frustrating thing is that we can understand where they're coming from. From their points of view, our kids are safe at my sister's house, so it makes sense that they take care of the three-year-old girl whose foster parents beat her so badly she had to be helicoptered to Children's. But I'm watching my kids deteriorate and regress to the emotional stages (or even worse, says grandma) they were in when they came into our home for respite care because their previous foster mom couldn't handle them anymore. I say these kids need to be in their forever home NOW!!! I just talked to their grandma who has them for the weekend, and she's telling me about K and his kicking, screaming, hitting, pounding temper tantrum that he had, and R sobbing so much she's hiccuping and can't gain control over herself, and E's blatant disrespect and angry outbursts, and I see the reflections of who they when we first knew them.

When I talked to Candice yesterday and tried to quickly explain to her the toll this was taking on the kids, she did have one solution. There is what's called a 30-day visit, and it's just exactly what it sounds like. We're licensed as foster parents, so the kids could come up and visit with us for 30 days, and really by then the paperwork should all be done and over with. When I passed it on to Jody, she didn't sound too optimistic about it, but she said she'd talk to her ICPC director about it in Washington.

When I talk to the social workers, I feel like even though they hear the words I'm saying, they don't actually see how bad it is and how this is damaging the kids. I feel like they just write me off as an over-zealous mom who is blowing things out of proportion, but I know that's just not the case. I wish they had more people communicating with them about how this is affecting the kids. Surely the more people they heard saying the same thing, the more they could be convinced that these kids need to be in their forever home now, not in another month or six weeks. If you've had interactions with the kids and can give examples as to the tole this is taking on the kids, I would not be opposed to you writing Jody or Carol. On the Washington (Jody) side, it would be a letter pushing for the 30-day visit to happen, and on the Alaska (Carol) side it would be pushing for the homestudy paperwork to be completed. My inclination is to just post their e-mail addresses and let anyone do it, but out of respect for their position and privacy, you can e-mail me at cathyandrandy@gmail.com if you're interested in writing them, and I'll send you their e-mail addresses.

Okay, wipe the tears away now. Even without the kids, Scott and I have really enjoyed re-connecting as individuals, and not just as Mama and Papa. It's just been nice to be together again, especially after being apart for three months while he was here in Alaska and I was down south. I have also fallen in love again with the outdoors (Ha! You thought I was going to say Scott, didn't you? Ha!)! Did you know that Juneau has more miles of hiking trails than they do of paved roads? Well I believe it! It's hard to go for a mile without seeing a new trailhead! Heck, there's even one downtown that takes you up the mountain. It's just amazing! I totally understand what Mom and Dad meant, though, when they said that you can't wait to do things until it stopped raining. It rains a lot here. But whatever. If you're in the forest, they provide some cover anyway. I'm constantly amazed by the amount of moss and lichen there is around here! I'm constantly pointing it out, and Scott's constantly laughing at me because when one of his best friends, Emily Jackson, came and visited him before I got up, she kept stopping what she was doing to point out the lichen, too. And mushrooms! There are tons of crazy colorful mushrooms here! It's just so peaceful to be to be out here hiking in the rainforest.

About a month ago we got a call from Scott's sister, Kim, saying that their brother, Brad, had an aortic aneurism and that he wasn't doing too well. This was very terrifying to the whole family for the obvious reasons, but also because he was just a few years younger than their mother when she died because of the exact same thing, and apparently it's a hereditary condition. He kept fighting for about a month, with lots of ups and downs and hope and discouragement. Scott, Kim, and the final sibling, Dennese, were able to fly down to California and visit him for a weekend, and the day after they left, he passed away. I'm proud of Scott and that his sense of family is so strong that even though he hadn't seen his brother in probably ten years, he was the one to organize and coordinate all of the siblings going down there and saying goodbye Brad. I hope that this sense of family is something that he passes on to the kids and that I can learn from.

Like I said earlier, the first day here in Alaska I started at Baxter Bruce and Sullivan on a temporary business. They were unable to pay me enough money to keep me on, so they hired some cheaper labor and my last day there was Friday. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do yet. I'm in the running against one other guy for the records manager position at the local police department which I should find out about within the next few weeks. They're starting their background process right now. And I interviewed for a dispatcher position, and apparently they loved me (which was funny because I thought I had bombed the interview.). And I've applied for a couple of legal secretary positions with the state. We'll see what happens. It will all work out. Heavenly Father will take care of me and my family.

This was a ridiculously long blog in which I felt like I was mostly just ranting and raving. Sorry about that. But, well, that's what's going on in our life right now!